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ielts students’ assignments 30 April 2015

IELTS students’ assignments 30 April 2015

 

Please post your assignments given in class.

 

21 Responses so far.

  1. Alam Alam says:

    It’s a remarkable topic I have come across with, however I support the healthier diet as the positive part of your life rather than the mixed kind of exercise. To live a healthier life and live your life in the balanced way you need to have a balanced diet as a major ingredient.

    I believe that dieting balances your food intake and keeps you healthy. It is a great way of knowing what you’re eating and what you’re not, that mean planning the food that you should eat and not to eat. That gives knowledge about the food which has what benefits and which are the ones should not be taken at all. It does not let you gain weight as you plan your food thoroughly avoiding higher fat food.
    Discussing each point; it takes weeks and months for an individual to shape himself, for someone to burn fat through exercising without altering diet your taking, maintaining your self is important. The way you eat food and the way you avoid unhealthy food such as Junk food and other unhealthy stuff such as tobacco etc. A perfect diet mean that you maintain a food diet chart of what you’re eating and what you would be eating next.
    Atkin’s. a world’s renown author talks about 1000 ways of looking your weight and keeping yourself fit; hundreds of people have gotten benefitted from his tips.
    Furthermore, I believe that minimizing fat food intake and only in-taking less fat food keeps you healthy. A planned diet is always useful though many people don’t know what they are eating, eating habits are major cause of weight gain.
    By following healthier diet, you start controlling the way you look. You alter the shape of your body and your body mechanism start getting accustomed to one way of food intake. Rather than confusing your body with taking everything that comes you takes less cholesterol food, your take more proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and less calorie.
    The changes come very prominent as you follow the diet for few weeks. Nevertheless one can opt for lighter exercise if he/she wishes, the whole process results in people around you respecting you and liking you as you look good, maintenance of yourself makes other people like you and respect your for the work you have done.

    Conclusion is if you eat balanced diet, you balance your life, it affects how you look, good looks win appreciation and appreciation leads to self-confidence, machines cannot give you that success that you can get from dieting.

    Shahzaib

    • Alam Alam says:

      Dear Shahzaib,

      You write well but do not organize which as a result does not carry smoothness to be read.

      Follow simple rule.

      Introduce topic in formal way and give thesis statement in which mention what you intend to discuss in the body part. If your this sense is not clear, go through some sample essays, it will be cleared.

      Then start organized body by keeping one point in each paragraph. Support each paragraph well by giving relevant detail like examples, explanations, reasons or other extra details. Make sure to place sentences in nice order to bring more cohesion and coherence in it.

      And in last just conclude thats it…

      Keep practicing your essays .

      You can post on this link

  2. Alam Alam says:

    Is diet necessary for health or physical activities?
    What’s your opinion about it?
    Health is wealth, to be healthy one may use many ways like control on diet, daily exercise, medicines, yoga etc. Aim of all these ways is to be healthy. For this purpose many institutions are open now a day, they either maintains health by routine exercises or add a suitable diet with it. It shows that both of these play important and significant role in fitness. In my opinion major role is of balance diet.
    Balance diet is complete system of food we take, at what time is taken and how much of it is eaten? Focusing on quality of food, now a day, frozen food, that’s easy to cook, junk food, fresh fruits and vegetables, mutton, chicken, fish a lot of it is opted by one. Option of taking any of it depends whether someone keeps quality as a factor or taste. Commonly people go for taste full, spicy, yummy sort of food regardless of its quality. This slowly and badly affects their health. On the hand use of fresh fruits and vegetables is decreasing. Fruits and vegetables are best source of minerals, vitamins, proteins and fibers. Doctors recommend taking at least four different types of fruits a day. Likewise vegetables enrich one’s body and brain. Fish is the only best source of vitamin D. Chicken, mutton is source of protein and fibers. These are all quality food to make healthy. But junk food, stored, frozen food, for which one just need to fry it or cook it or bake it, is not sure a quality food. It may save time of cooking but may cause unbalance metabolism within body. One should have to go for quality not taste.
    Time management to take food is very important. Breakfast, lunch and dinner should be done on proper time. Busy schedule affects it causing dehydration, weakness and paleness. One should not ignore or take it so easy. This day by day weakness put one completely on bed. Be aware before that day comes. Take meal on time.
    Hungry for a long time as one see meal in front of him/her just starts eating without break. One becomes himself/herself as full as enough. Over eating is basic cause of fatty body. High blood pressure, cholesterol and tiredness are results of fat. This is deterrent towards achievement and success.
    Life without health is useless. Nothing can be done properly, appropriately and accurately. To achieve success in life one has to be healthy. Health is only by balance diet. Make diet balance; be healthy, wealthy and wise.

    Amber, Karachi

    • Alam Alam says:

      look better now…

      Keep practicing. What you can do is write essay, type it and post it on this link or email it to me. i will comment on it.

  3. Alam Alam says:

    Businesses should do anything they can make a profit. Do you agree or disagree?
    Lawyers, economists, entrepreneurs around the world are of the opinion that code of conduct in business is essential in order to generate profit. I certainly believe that investors must not go beyond set laws and regulations to increase profit.
    It is not legitimate to perform business practices while walking on the adversity of poverty. In fact, they should provide more fringes and benefits to their employees. For instance, in my country, it has been witnessed that cash crops like rice and wheat has been stock in warehouses. A wrong market gap has been created and people ultimately bound to purchase low-price commodities to high prices. Moreover, these practices have been seen in pharmaceuticals as well.
    Most of the people have been played by the brokers of stock exchange. Indeed, one should always check stringently, licenses and related details of the firm in which they are going to invest. For example, in USA a virtual company has been set in the mid of last century, which claimed to provide excessive margin of profit within no time. Till the time the company was sacked, the partners of the firm have looted over two billion dollars. In addition, with respect to ethics, it is unlawful for the employees to be the part of such fraudulent organizations.
    In conclusion, human beings are greedy since the dawn of time/ it is individuals responsibility to go through every in and out of a company prior to investment. Likewise, government should develop measures to destabilize wrong practices in a state.

    Ali Javed, Karachi

    • Alam Alam says:

      Good try
      Good try me Ali!!

      – Good introduction , body and conclusion.
      – vocabulary range is also good.

      Make sure you pick the topic and discuss it relevantly showing good command on vocabulary, grammar , content organization and smoothness in reading.

  4. Alam Alam says:

    Borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship. Do you agree? Why or why not?

    Among all the relations lies in the world, friendship is a relation which has no other alternative. Indeed, a single good friend is better than many dozens so called friends. It is our liability to help our friends whenever it is needed.

    Money is the root if all the causes and discrepancies one could ever imagine. The real test of a friendship starts right after the money has been borrowed by another friend. For instance, it has been observed that money taken by a friend cannot be returned on a given date and time creates the delusion between friends it is always suggested that if one fails to commit his/her promise, he/she should inform other before time so that giver may arrange finds from other source id in need, it is also one if the way to gain confidence of a donor.

    A friend in need is a friend indeed. It is true that give and take is a cyclic process, but one should aware of the fact that it is much better to be the helping hand than the borrowing hand. The characteristic of being generous is not present in everyone. In fact, few people are bestowed with the element of generosity. By this I mean, if a friend is in real need of money, another friend is bound to help him up to the extent he could. It is also a test of a receiver to justify his commitment and could be another way of enhancing friendship.

    In conclusion, the only gesture which can dilute friendship is under commitment. We should apply the ‘forgive and forget’ strategy into our lives. As it is rightly believed that the greatest asset of a person is not the money he earned but the friends he gained.

    Ali Javed

    • Alam Alam says:

      Dear Ali,

      look at follow comments.

      Introduction:
      – It doesn’t introduce essay topic well , nor the thesis statement responds to the question.

      Body para 1
      – tacks task response

      Body para 2
      – lacks task response

      Conclusion
      – DO not use quotations as it wont help you get better score. The reason for it is examiner checks your creativity of complex sentences and structural formation, so focus that instead

      Suggestion:

      – Learn to target the question well. Introduce topic well, give thesis statement and support it well accordingly.
      – Organize body paragraphs well by keeping their central idea clear and support them with examples, reasons,evidence and extra detail.

  5. Alam Alam says:

    When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

    Development in technology is pretty appreciable in these days which changes the ways of survival in life. Such evolution in technology proves as the development in conventional skills and ideas. However, I personally believed that there would be an increase in traditional skills and improvement in ways of life rather than die out.

    As we know that, certain processes based on technology not only requires traditional skills to operate but also requires creativity and ideas. If we compare things that are still based on traditional skills are much fruitful than those based on technology. For example: most of the people don’t like pizza’s or fast food that is prepared in microwave oven or other steam machines but they love to take food prepared in through traditional skills in a traditional way.

    Further, sometimes the major operations of the company are totally based on traditional skills but infact they have installed high frequency machines. For example: In the industry many pharmaceutical and FMCG companies have installed high frequency machines in premises but there exist traditional ways and skills to operate those developed machines. Eventually, such skills not only help in the production and sales growth but also increase the profit margins through reducing the costs.

    To summarize, in my personal view, it varies from person to person whereby, some people totally dependent on the technology and unfortunately failed to maintain their traditional skills where as some people drive it through their skills and also ensure timely improvement of the skills.

    Sandeep Kumar, Karachi, Pakistan

    • Alam Alam says:

      Introduction

      – Verb form correction “personally believe..”
      – Do not repeat questions keywords, use similar words instead to increase marks in lexical resource. (rather than die out)

      Body Para 1
      – Do not use pronouns “As we know that” use passive structure instead to make it more formal(As it is known…)
      – Right verb form correction “processes are based”
      – Coherence and grammatical mistakes

      Body para 2
      – similar problems as above

      conclusion
      – improve Coherence…

  6. Alam Alam says:

    topic :

    when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. it is pointless to keep them alive. how far do you agree with it?

    Response:

    With advancements in technology, traditions of a country are seldom given importance. While technology continues to play a major role in our lives, I believe , traditions are equally important for social and practical lives and therefore should be kept alive.

    Every country has its own traditions and values. they have been acquired through experiences of the previous generations. While most traditions have lost their true essence, maintaining them is a way to remember and connect to ones roots. Cultural and religious traditions add color to our lives. More importantly some values help us cherish our daily lives. More importantly some values help us cherish our daily living in a better sense. For example, giving respect to elders and strong family ties are cherished tradition of Asia. Loss of this tradition has resulted in more broken homes loneliness , as indicated by various studies.

    Because traditions date back to years and centuries of experience , it has helped in the development of new knowledge. Like the study of astronomy has been derived from using stars for direction by old travelers and caravans. Similarly, the field of medicine and pharmacology continues to employ natural traditional methods of treatment, as the trend towards old, less harmful natural methods have gained popularity among masses. Use of Camels for travelling in deserts still remains a cheap and effective method until some more efficient travel system in wide the vast deserts is developed.

    One can’t deny the importance of technology in our daily lives. Technological advancements have made life easier and efficient. A country has to adopt and develop itself technologically to cope up with the world. Advancements in medicine , science, electronics, space travel e.t.c , is all to technology’s credit. What used to be achieved in months and years can now be achieved with less man power and shorter time.In some cases, Some traditions can be given up in favour of technology for the better, but symbolic representation may connect us with our history and ancestors.

    To conclude, technology has made the world a global village and every country can maintain its individuality by keeping alive their traditions in some form. If the world is a flower bouquet , colors of various countries add to its beauty.

    Dr Samra, Karachi , Pakistan

    • Alam Alam says:

      Good try…

      you can improve it by organizing content in much better way.Specially making central idea of each paragraph in body clear by place topic sentence as a first sentence.

  7. Ali Javed says:

    Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important profession. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it in unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
    Celebrities, economists, tax collectors, federal revenue department, bankers and treasury division of a state are of the opinion that successful sports individuals earn more than any other professional but to the limited time. There are always two sides of the coins out of which there exist certain professions which earn more than the victorious sports star. I strongly believe that it is unfair to say sports professional earn a great deal.
    The career of a sports man/woman starts at an early age so the earning. In fact it has been observed that they are among the richest persons in the world. For example, Tiger Woods, a great golf player of all times has more money than any other of his same or other sports fellows. Furthermore, the insurance of a single leg of a footballer is more than the winning prize of any championship. Hence, it is due to sheer hard work, absolute determination and extreme passion that an individual make his mark in the peculiar area.
    There are professions which in terms of money are ahead of sports. As a matter of fact a famous actor earns more than any other professional. For instance, bollywood actor Shahrukh Khan is the second highest earners of money and he managed to get this position only in 25 years of continuous work. Moreover, it has been believed that endorsements of most products are always been given to the film star due to their fame and popularity. So, those who conceive that it is unfair to say that sports celebrities earn a great deal are wrong when compare to the movie star.
    Sports stars who are on the top of their career surely earn very high. As a point of fact, the journey of a champion boxer is limited and they hardly prolong their career tentatively till the age of forty. Whereas, a successful actor can extend his vocation till old age. In addition, there is no limitation or boundaries of age in acting but there is always an age limit of a sports man or woman. Thus, to my very strong opinion sports individual do not earn more than a film star.
    In a nutshell, money is not always everything. One needs to understand than it is a respect that is more vital. There are pros and cons of every profession; the honor gained by winning a title for the nation has no comparison to any other happiness in the world.

    • Alam Alam says:

      Dear Ali,

      Your problem is Cohesion and Coherence. You don’t link sentences logically and put them in order which lack unity in certain paragraphs.

      i have commented on paragraphs in the body part.

      Body para 1

      – First sentence is not clear thoght wise.
      – Fist sentence doesn’t logically connect with rest of paragrpahs.
      – Transition phrase “furthermore” has not been used correctly. It is used to add more details but there you are not adding them.
      – In this paragrpah arguement has not been placed in right order, nor it has logical connection with other sentences. As a resutl, this paragraph lacks unity for the reader to work out what you want to discuss.

      Body para 2

      – Second sentence has similar idea as sentence one, so it will be pointed as repetition.
      – Trasitions and needs to be replaced with “who”.
      – Singular/plural reference error.
      – Fourth sentence has not been elaborated by supporting details.
      – This paragraph lacks cohesion and coherence

      Body para 3

      – This paragraph has general statements and seems conclusion ,but i can see one more paragrpah below which draws conclusion. So giving two conclusions in one essay can not prove it very effective one.
      – Again some transitions in this paragraph are not clear.

  8. Ali Javed says:

    The norms of the society are changing rapidly, so the law should adjust according to the changing in circumstances of individual need. To what extend do you agree or disagree.
    Socialist and judicial bodies around the world believe that the frequency of revising or initiating new law should be directly proportional to the abrupt change in norms of society. I strongly believe that change is inevitable so is the law, whatever the circumstances are, the law should always be there to draw a line between right and wrong.

    First and the foremost role in changing the norms have been played by internet. Indeed it is an unmatchable invention of last century which triggers the thinking ability of a person into various new dimensions. For example, the rate of internet crime is more in developed countries than non developed countries which gave authorities a reason to joint their heads and establish a law to encounter these cyber crimes. Furthermore, there are still unique ways of cyber crime exists, for which currently there are no laws evolved. Therefore, as the numbers of users on internet are rapidly growing, it is the duty of authorities to implement stringent rules and regulations for the safer use of internet.

    Secondly, there are major environmental concerns present at this time. In fact, deforestation and global warming has great influence in pollution and have become a vital task to be controlled immediately. For instance, there are less forest in the world than ever before, pollution is excessively increased and health and safety have become integral issue for most of the people. Moreover, strict rules must be implicated all over the world to control pollution and the factors related to it. So, bodies like ISO 14000 Environmental Management System and 18000 Occupation Health and Safety must take scampering precautionary measures, eventually we are responsible to provide pollution free world to the upcoming generation.

    Lastly, the population of the world is increasing by leaps and bonds. As a matter of point we are living in the world of more than seven billion people. China has a population of over a billion people but they have controlled their birth rate in a proper fashion that each couple can not have more than one child. In addition, every now and then controlling bodies are coming up with new rules to control the overall population of the world. Hence it is not only the responsibility of governing bodies but is the obligation of individuals as well.

    In a nutshell, it does not matter that how fast norms are changing in a society but it matters how you protect and control them by evolving laws.

  9. Alam Alam says:

    The world is organizing itself by making up-to the highest level of technology developments according to their limits in respect to available resources as well as funds to be able them to alive with change, otherwise they can’t survive with the same traditional skills and ways for a long period.

    The technology awareness is one of the arts that make us to be able to move on further, like we can say that the mobile technology is necessary for everyone to learn in these days, because this is the essential tool in our life, and without having it we found ourselves die by means of technology.

    Actually the technology means easy life, and we have to leave the old tradition as what we had but to know what is going on. In our daily life we use our mobile for exchanging information, surfing internet, paying our bills, and funds transfer. These are the examples of ways that we can easily live with.

    As for as my opinion is concern, I am agreed 100% with current or updated technology awareness to be have successful in our life.
    Regards,
    Syed Al-e-Raza

    • Alam Alam says:

      Dear Raza,

      Your writing skills seem to be ok, but you are not following examiner assessing criteria.

      Firstly, You should increase the content with wide approach. increasing points and their details will help you add more paragraphs. in such way , examiner will give you more marks for vocabulary, grammar, task response, cohesion and coherence.

      second problem this essay contains is in the introduction. it doesn’t have thesis statement which doesn’t guide reader what you intend to discuss or what you direction of discussion is. So always guide reader by giving one to two lines thesis state in which mention clearly what is your response.

      Please work on above mistakes and practice more to increase your bandscore in writing module.

  10. Alam Alam says:

    Recently, various environmental changes are causing harm to animals.
    Some people says that efforts should be made to protect them while others state that humans deserve more attention than animals. Address both issues and give your opinion.
    …………………,…,,,,,,,……………..,,,,,,,,…

    It is generally believed by individuals that various environmental hazards are putting wild life at edge of extinction and the issue needs tobe addressed effectively. However, others protest that the concerns regarding human issues are of greater significance and hence should be given priority. I partly agree with both concepts and this essay will address the both views briefly. (57 words)
    Firstly, it is hard to argue the fact that the world is facing significant challanges. The apparent example in this regard is the immense proliferation rate of human population particularly in the developing regions like Asia and Africa. This on one hand is utilizing natural resources like fossil fuels at an alarming rate and on the other hand requires more support programmes for instance in education and bealth. ( 69 worrds)
    Secondly, the recent economic crises has posed a devastating effect on global market. Consequently, a large proportion of workers are facing unemployment and efforts should be made to facilitate the intellecuals by improving socioeconomic prospects.(41words)
    Nevertheless, the flora and fauna are integral part of our echosystem. Many species are inhabitant in fragile regions like rain forests where minor temperature fluctuations could erradicate the vulnerable invertebrates. Subsequently, the food chain is under the threat of imbalance which could cause serious consequences. (45 words)
    To sum up, like many others, in my opinion, a balanced approach is required from those who are in authority to solve both issues in such a way that it could yield positive results in the long run.(42 words)
    Total 254 words
    ……………….
    In exam i wrote 278 words about the same topic. And all ideas were same.

    Usman, Pakistan

  11. Alam Alam says:

    Hello
    Thanks for your kind reply. Below is the writing task 1 which i wrote in the exam. I would really appreciate if you kindly check it and give me a feedback.
    Thanks
    Dr. Usman
    ….,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    The diagam illustrates various steps involved in the synthesis of chipboard. Overall, it is evident that the process consistes of two main stages, each devided into five individual steps in product formation.
    The first stage begins with the cutting of trees and obtaining woodlogs which are further chopped into equally small pieces. After this, the small wooden logs are grinded into fine wood chips by a human operated machine. This is followed by mixing wood chips, glue and warnish in a big container.
    In the second stage, the mixture obtained in the previous stage is placed on a flat surface and heated with a big heating device for twenty four hours. It is then left for two days in order to cool down. Then, broad sheat of chipboard is cut down into evenly boards.
    Finally, the freshly made chipboard is ready to be used for the production of desired furniture and the process finishes.

    Usman, Pakistan

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