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Dr Unaiza’s essays

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5 Responses so far.

  1. Alam Alam says:

    Question:

    In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their level of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

    sample answer:

    Unintended weight gain is becoming problematic and should be addressed.

    Sudden increase in average weight of an individual is known as “obesity” in medical term.

    The most common factor is our busy life. At present, people are running around the clock to maintain their life economically. Because of their busy routines they don’t get enough time for exercise and for other support activities which keep them healthy and fit .

    Another noticeable cause is sedentary life style. Most of the people, who use to work in offices, mostly in sitting posture, can gain weight because their metabolism doesn’t work fast to digest, as in a person who has a tough routine.

    Another factor playing important role is unhealthy eating habits and attraction towards “junk food” which, in simple words is called fast food. According to recent research fast food is one of the biggest causes of obesity in USA.

    Obesity in itself a big problem and affect the health badly. Increase blood pressure and increase rate of heart attacks are the result of obesity.
    An obese person also has social stigmatization when, he/she finds himself/herself not fitting properly in a dress or looking ugly. Which, itself is a very painful condition.

    Certain measures can be taken to maintain a healthy life style like,
    1. Say ‘no’ to junk food.
    2. Have proper time for exercise or walk.
    3. Have proper eating habits which include carbohydrates and fiber.
    4. Try to quit a sedentary lifestyle and stay active.
    At the end, being a Muslim I want to highlight an issue, which according to me is a big cause of obesity and unhealthy life style I.e. our deviation from Islamic rules.

    If the people only starts to offer prayer five times a day they can get rid of this problem because according a research it is proved that ‘ Namaz’ is a best exercise for body and keeps the people healthy both physically and mentally.

    If the Muslims only start to follow at least ‘sunnah’ they can overcome this issue. As in Sunnah eating 3 to 4 hours before sleeping and walking at least 70 steps after dinner are beneficial.

    These are the golden roles of Islamic which only need to understand.
    In other countries certain measures as listed above can be taken to deal with this situation.

    Dr. Unaiza

  2. Alam Alam says:

    Question:
    Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has the technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
    Answer:
    Technology has revolutionized the human life and completely changed the ways of interactions. At present times, invention of certain new software and applications have facilitate the people like whtsapp, viber, facebook, LinkedIn, twitter, Skype and many other such kind of applications. These new inventions are the best and easiest way to contact with family and social community as well. People can exchange their photos and videos and even their documents in seconds and can talk to each other face to face like on Skype.

    With the help of technology now trading has become too easy. E commerce is getting progress day by day. People can buy cloths, food items, house hold things and even jobs at their door steps. Electronics has made life easy and comfortable like micro wave ovens, refrigerators, A.C etc. these all are wonders of technology.

    Some people are of the view that these modern inventions have negative effect on human life like on internet, the younger generation wastes most of their time by watching obscene films and doing idle talk with their friends. People also thought that the modern electronics have made people lezzy and sluggish and this in return causing bad affects on their health.

    In my opinion life will become too difficult without technology and we cannot compete with others in any field of life whether, in study or business. Everything which has positive effects, have negative effects too but it totally depends upon us how to use this technology either in positive or negative ways. Either to illuminate their lives or to destroy their precious time.

    Dr Unaiza, Multan

    • Alam Alam says:

      Dear Dr Unaiza,

      problems i identified are mentioned below paragraph wise.

      Introduction
      – First and second sentences are fine which introduce topic , but third and fourth sentences give explanation which should be avoided in introduction. All explanation with main idea should go to the body part.
      – It doesn’t possess thesis statement ; it shows reader what you wish to discuss in mentioned essay.

      Body para 1
      – First sentence and second sentence has same content , so it will be marked as repetition.
      – You have further over-generalized in this paragraph. You first started with “technology has helped people buy easily” then later content changes to different idea and that has not been explained well even. What you should do is plan what you wish to discuss and then think of details to make the statement strong by placing all supporting details in an organized way.

      Body para 2
      – parallel structure error
      – lacks organized details

      Conclusion
      – lacks punctuation
      – grammatical error

  3. Alam Alam says:

    Dear marina,

    Hope you are doing well now a days. I am writing to inform you that I am also coming to Islamabad as I got a very good job there near your house in a college. There are some problems which are necessary to solve before shifting and in which you can help me a lot as you are already living there.

    The foremost problem is my accommodation. I want you to arrange a small house or flat for me in which there should be two bedrooms. The flat should be airy because the electricity issues are on peak these days.

    I am desirous to have a house in the area where you are living because it will be convenient for me to go to my job from there. As I am going to start a new life in a new city so there will be some economical issues. So, the house should suit me economically as well.

    Hopefully u will understand my problems and will do your best to help me to overcome these hurdles.

    Your loving friend

    Dr Unaiza, Multan, Pakistan

    • Alam Alam says:

      Dear Uzaiza,

      it is a good try apart from few mistakes.

      Introduction
      – Start with “I” to make it formal.
      – Comma needed before coordinating conjunction as “..to Islamabad ,as i got a very good..”
      – Correction need change from active to passive voice “..are necessary to be solved before..”
      – need to place comma before coordinating conjunction and “…before shifting , and in which…”

      body para 1
      – first sentence is not clear thought wise.

      body para 2

      conclusion

      Place comma at the end of given phrase and write your name below it.

      Your Loving friend,
      Unaiza

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